To better understand this post please read my piece on ‘Celibacy’ by clicking on the title link above.
Wow, I just re-read this post after so long, and I must amend a few statements made in it.
I have come to realise that it is unfair to expect close ones to have disposable time focusing on helping me. I have helped myself as much as I can with regards to the aforementioned, and have had some help along the way, which I am extremely grateful for.
I still think polyamory has the potential for being more hurtful than serial monogamy, and if not more hurtful than more wary-making in the long-term. Because of the experiences mentioned in my ‘Celibacy’ post and two recent experiences of non-consensual sex acts (I don’t really know what terminology is appropriate), I think I have become more wary, but I am trying to not let that get in the way of living.
I’ve only recently become OK with discussing these non-consensual sex acts, whereas before I was getting caught up with terminology. So since I didn’t have a name to call what happened to me, I found it difficult to talk about my experiences. Also because I was unsure of what to call these experiences, I was also unsure of what had happened to me, and therefore my reactions to these experiences I found hard to validated or justify within myself. I know this sounds silly, but that is what was going on. No one should have to second guess their feelings, non-consensual sex act or otherwise. I do understand it though, it is a non-consensual situation, and to feel disempowered is what happens initially. Now that I have found myself a fitting name for what happened to me, I can finally talk about it, and be OK :)
5 comments:
I know I'm not "here", but I can be there if you want to talk.
xx
Thanks hun
XOX
I've been here, many many years ago. Quite frankly it sucks. So... a shoulder/ear if you need one.
thankyou so much for sharing that.
it's very important to talk about these issues, and i strongly respect your ability to talk about all aspects of your sexual experience.
Hi Sonya,
this Marylou, I experienced non-consentual sex acts when I was a little bit younger than you are now, so say about 21 and that made me celebate for about a year. I was very sexually active before that so was very sad that I had been robbed of my usual sexual freedom and joy of it.
It took me a while but I eventually got back into it... and then years later, now, I've been pregnant and even though I was pretty horny during the pregnancy, afterwards was a different story for me, revisiting old sex-avoidance behaviour... Hope you are well and hope to catch up with you soon. :-)
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