Sunday, May 20, 2007

Reflections on my reflective ‘Celibacy’ piece & Non-Consensual Sex Acts

To better understand this post please read my piece on ‘Celibacy’ by clicking on the title link above.

Wow, I just re-read this post after so long, and I must amend a few statements made in it.

I have come to realise that it is unfair to expect close ones to have disposable time focusing on helping me. I have helped myself as much as I can with regards to the aforementioned, and have had some help along the way, which I am extremely grateful for.

I still think polyamory has the potential for being more hurtful than serial monogamy, and if not more hurtful than more wary-making in the long-term. Because of the experiences mentioned in my ‘Celibacy’ post and two recent experiences of non-consensual sex acts (I don’t really know what terminology is appropriate), I think I have become more wary, but I am trying to not let that get in the way of living.

I’ve only recently become OK with discussing these non-consensual sex acts, whereas before I was getting caught up with terminology. So since I didn’t have a name to call what happened to me, I found it difficult to talk about my experiences. Also because I was unsure of what to call these experiences, I was also unsure of what had happened to me, and therefore my reactions to these experiences I found hard to validated or justify within myself. I know this sounds silly, but that is what was going on. No one should have to second guess their feelings, non-consensual sex act or otherwise. I do understand it though, it is a non-consensual situation, and to feel disempowered is what happens initially. Now that I have found myself a fitting name for what happened to me, I can finally talk about it, and be OK :)

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Short Erotic Story

This is a short story I wrote really quickly. I am aware of the gender confusion, and the perspective confusion, it is all deliberate. Enjoy.


Her mouth had been hurting for a while now. The gag around her face secured the used underwear that had been forced into her mouth. That’s what she came to realise when she woke, as her eyes adjusted to the dim light the recognition of her surrounds sank in. It was dam, and there was not much daylight, all was silent apart from a tap dripping somewhere off into the distance. This made her think that there may not be any people around to free her from her predicament. She was tied to a pole, legs spread wide whilst she knelt on her knees and sat on her feet. Her body and arms were bound to the pole protruding from the concrete floor. There was some more bondage around her bent knees of each leg, around her thighs and calf so they were forced to be bent and her feet tied at the ankle. There was another taut piece of rope on the outer side of her legs that connected the thigh/calf to the ankle bond then to the protruding pole, it was there to force and keep her bent legs spread wide. She looked down at her crotch to see that there was liquid oozing from her swollen lips that were unashamedly on display. She saw the welts on her breasts and inner thigh and from that the pain registered in her mind like stinging memories.

All she remembered from before she blacked out was pleading with her eyes for her master to put something… anything inside her since her mouth and limbs were temporarily debilitated and she had no other means to communicate. Her master was just about to show her some mercy and began to slowly step towards her, with the sound of each step crisply resonating against the concrete floor of the abandoned warehouse. She looked down at her master’s shoes which she just freshly spit polished before getting bound, kneeling before her, on her hands and knees, arse up in the air that was red from a spanking. The slave’s eyes widened as she realised that her master was about to rub her spit polished shoes on her sopping cunt that was aching to be filled. Her master loved making her beg to be fucked, but since she was gagged she decided to take pity on her and shoved the front of her pointed shoe into her loose wide cunt which willingly accepted it. A low moan escaped her gagged lips, and a squelching noise arose as she began bucking her hips in a rhythmic fashion on her master’s shoe. Her foot was angled up for her pleasure, resting on the spike of her high heels.

Throughout all this her master realised that her slave could not take her eyes off her crotch. So she decided while her slave bucked on her shoe, to take her dick out of her pants, un-gag her slave and hold her dick just out of reach of her slave’s yearning mouth.

“To get what you want, you have to beg, slut.” Her master said simply.

She was holding the back of her slaves head firmly in place by her hair so she wouldn’t get an extra helping of cock before she earns it by begging.

She loved it when her master humiliated her and after some moans of pleasure she was able to muster, “Please ram your big cock into my mouth, sir,” exasperatedly.

And so I did, and as I looked down at her, I could tell she was in ecstasy. I previously had rubbed our lover's semen all over my big black silicone dildo so she can taste and smell his cock on it and salivate from it. Her saliva lube helped me fuck her mouth just how she liked it, and I was glad she mastered the art of breathing through her nose. I was tempted to hold her nose shut just so I could make tears form in her eyes, (that is when I think she is most beautiful), but I retrained myself, as funny as that may sound.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Stretching My Copious Cunt

I've been doing a lot of solitary exploration lately, and the thing I like best is stretching my cunt. I've been able to stretch it to 11 inches around in circumference lately, and this has been a slow process that has taken since the year 2000. And although cunts seem to be very elastic, I think when I stretched it to a certain point I changed the appearance and tightness/looseness of it. I now look very open, and sometimes have trouble holding things in my vagina especially if they're small. I love how things just slip out because it's so loose and sloppy.

I have trouble talking about this to people, even if they are kinky folk, since there is so many issues tied up in loving my loose cunt.

At the age of 20 I was still a virgin and never had an orgasm, and one day I told one of my males friends this. He was really insistant that I go home and masturbate almost straight away. I had tried to masturbate once before to no avail, I just couldn't get the hang of it. This time after my friends persuasion, I tried again. This is when I realised that I love shoving big things inside me. It took a lot of time and a lot of lube. The part that I love, is that I did my own deflowering, because by the time I had sex for the first time, it didn't hurt at all... in fact my first time with a man was three hours and one of the most intense sexual experiences I have ever had.

I also love the idea of being a loose slut, who's cunt makes a squelching noise when it's fucked because it's greedy and insatiable, and shows just how slutty I am or can be. I like how the squelching noise humiliates and degrades me by showing what I really am.