The Melbourne Leather Festival

Train Fantasy

The following has been one of my fantasies in the past.  However, I’m not sure about now, but I decided to put it in writing anyway.  I hope you enjoy.

A slight fog settles around an outer suburban train line where most of the passengers at 8am in the morning are city bound.  The 9-5 suits are on their way to work.  Due to the fog and the men are mostly rugged up in their trench coats.The train in the dull winter morning fog makes a beautiful screeching sound as it comes to a stop in front of me.  On the train is full but there is still some moving space.  It is necessary for me to stand since there are no seats, and because of the train’s movement and fullness I am forced to accidentally brush against strangers.

I feel someone's cock swelling as it rubs against my full arse cheeks behind me, so I lend forward a little and lined up my wet cunt with his hard cock so I can take advantage of the rocking of the train and his uncontrollable thrusts.On their way to work the passengers were reading their broad papers that covered their faces.  I take advantage of the anonymity and kneel in front of a man in a black suit with full belly and a big bulge that made my mouth water longingly.I hear and feel him trying not to notice me but failing miserably with his grunts and moans of pleasure, the way his body tenses and releases.  He tries not to notice so I can continue pleasuring him without the half-awake passengers distracted with their papers noticing.  I did not care if they did, there would be more for me to play with if I was noticed.

There is a man behind me who had his ankles crossed and outstretched, and since I always thoroughly enjoy my face being fucked, and love kneeling in submission, rubbing my cunt on some man’s shoe would send me into beautiful agony.  So I position my cunt on top his clean, polished shoe.  It may have been the rocking of the train or the man grinding his shoe against me, I wasn’t sure.  All this is arousing me so much that I yearn to get fucked hard by anybody who was willing.As I look up from the crotch I was worshipping, I see a hard dick being pulled out of a standing man’s trousers.  He has seen what I’ve been doing and is willing to give me some relief.  I walked over to where he was standing by the doorway and bent over the hand rail that separated the two men and put the cock I was sucking back into my eager mouth, and waited to get fucked good and proper.

I am wearing a trench coat and nothing else, and so when I bent over the hand rail to suck off the man sitting in front of me, the bottom half of my coat slid up over my arse and down my back a little, leaving my arse and my legs exposed while the only other thing that was exposed was my head which was buried in a strangers crotch.The man standing behind me with his dick out of his pants finally pushed his thick dick into my wet pussy and stretched the walls of it as he fucked me.  Thankfully my mouth was gagged by the cock that filled my mouth so my sounds of pleasure were muffled by his thick cock.  A combination of the train’s rocking and the man’s fucking allowed for a pleasurable rhythm.  And I was very thankful that he was fucking me as hard and brutally as he could.
It has been my ultimate fantasy to be used as a fuck toy, and to my delight news of the last carriage of the 8:05am train spread and before I knew it my morning sexcapades became a regular thing where I get used like a fuck toy by the 9-5 suits that never show me their faces from behind their papers.

Celibacy

Just a disclaimer: This is not just a site where you would find erotica, it is also my blog. I have been going through intense psychological ups and downs as of late. And the ways in which it has affected my life is sleep (or too much there of), lack of the ability to enjoy what I used to, which obviously includes sex. I know how unfortunate this is, it is very frustrating to me and I want my old self back, but it is not as easy as it sounds.

So the next few postings most probably will not be about all the fun I have been having sexually, because I haven’t been, (having fun that is, otherwise I would tell you).

For those who don't know me personally, you may not be able to appreciate the gravity of the decision or journey it has taken for me to decide on being celibate for a while. Those who know me say that it will not last. This disheartens me and sometimes I just want to do it to prove them wrong, but I am always overpowered by the underlying melancholy which led me to make the decision in the first place.

I know I’m in an unhealthy state of mind for it to come to this, I also know that celibacy will not actually fix what I have going down psychologically, but I do know that to abstain from sex (for now) sure won’t make things worse. I feel very damaged inside, and if I let someone close enough for me to want to have sex with them I fear getting hurt. I know this is cowardly, but getting hurt after I have opened up to someone happened way too regularly recently, in the past year or so.

The last few times that I got hurt were due to my two love interests being monogamous people while I was upfront with they from the beginning about being polyamorous they eventually revealed that they could not stand it. I think being polyamorous opens people up to being hurt more and focusing too much on sexual relationships since there is more than one person to give your time and energies to. It was a horrible situation for all parties involved, and I never could find an amiable solution apart from promising monogamy, which was broken fast with the person who I tried to stop seeing.

I feel as though I have been very sexually hurt by these people, as well as mentally.

Whenever I want to have sex and know there is no one I feel safe and intimate enough with to do it with or whenever I watch porn, I end up crying. There seems to be no one I can depend upon, open up to, have an intimate relationship with regardless of whether sex is involved or not. I feel like I would be burdening my friends if I opened up to them about this, they have busy lives and can’t really spend the time to try and help me.

Woo Hoo! My blogs back!

So I've deceided to be celibate for a while... this is completely willing, as apposed to some unwilling celibates I know.

More about this later after I've had some sleep since it is almost 5am. The hunger pains of staying up too late are kicking in with vengence, and to try and fall asleep with the nagging will prove to be difficult.